My name is Alicia Stephenson and I am an addict. I’m not your typical addict. I don’t go into the public bathroom and inject myself with deadly toxins, nor do I inhale them. I don’t get a high from it. This addiction is something we all do every day, just not
I am addicted to eating and caffeine… Okay, I know it’s not your ordinary addiction story. But this is actually quite a common addiction. Some people don’t even know that they are addicted. I just came to the realization myself.
Eating is something that we need to do to survive. If we don’t eat, we starve to death. However, that’s not really what I’ talking about when I say I have an eating addiction. Ever since January of this year (2017), I have been fighting with depression. With depression, you discover your own coping mechanisms. My coping mechanisms was sleep, Netflix, YouTube, Twitch, and eating.
When I am not asleep, I will go to the kitchen and find something to snack on so I can watch my shows or videos and then hopefully fall back asleep. But it’s not just a little snack here, and a little snack there. I will eat until I feel sick to my stomach. Over indulging in my comfort foods. After I gorge myself with the food I always tell myself that I never want to eat like that again because I hate the feeling. Then 3 or 4 hours later I’ll do it again. It’s sickening..
The other addiction I have is caffeine. Not just regular caffeine though. It has to be a Soda. If I don’t have a Soda in a few days, I will get a splitting headache that Advil cannot fix. I try to just deal with it until it goes away, but it literally feels like my head is being crushed. When I really try I have get away with only one soda every two days. But if I’m not trying I will literally have 12+ in a week. I tried counting but I lost track.. Which is horrible.
These two addictions I really wanna overcome. I was always good at eating well and drinking right. But with my depression, things have really gotten out of hand. It’s amazing how things can spiral out of control in a blink of an eye. Amazing in a bad way.
It might not seem so bad while you are sitting here reading this. But trust me, if you go through being sick to your stomach 2+ times a day and those splitting headaches. You will realize how real these addictions are.
On the 12th of July (2017), I have an appointment for a dietician to help me regulate my diet. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. Nervous because I really feel that this dietician will really put the smack down on me. Excited because I really think that this will be a good eye opener and kick my butt into gear to lose weight and become healthier.
I guess I’ll have an update on that when the time comes.
Xoxo, Alicia Dawn